What I Say to Pro-Spankers

"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed."

--Albert Einstein

First, I want to state that this absolutely IS a rant. At some point, I will likely write about the many, many things I do instead of spanking, but this is not that post. This is in response to all of the insane arguments I read in defense of spanking. I am so tired of hearing the same damn excuses over and over, it really is getting old. And rather than waste my time typing out all the same argument against these excuses, I will simply post this, and I really don't give a damn who I insult! I don't give a damn who feels judged either, because guess what? If you hit your children AND try to justify it, I am judging you!!! I realise that this is quite un-zen of me, however I feel that this topic is quite worth it.
So hear I go.

What's in a name

Spanking.bopping.slapping.smacking; it is ALL THE SAME and IT IS ALL ABUSE; I don't care what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night. I am so, so sick of the excuses and justifications, that I don't even care who I offend, because frankly, you offend me.

I turned out ok

Just because your parents spanked you, and you THINK you turned out alright, does NOT make it true and DOES NOT make it right. Spanking teaches kids to be bullies by showing them that they should hit someone who does not do what they want them to do, particularly those who are smaller than them. If you need an example of this, turn on the news, or better yet, look in the mirror. Growing up to hit people who are vulnerable and smaller than you is a perfect example of how you did not turn out ok.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. find out what it means to me

Just because you are confusing fear and intimidation with respect, does not actually mean they are the same thing. If you want to teach respect you have to give it, there is no other way. Let me reiterate; FEAR AND RESPECT ARE NOT THE SAME.

Semantics

Look it up; discipline means "to teach," which actually has nothing to do with punishment.

Spanking = Assault = Abuse

Yes, I can and do compare it to spousal abuse and assault. It is only the law (in some countries) reflecting a very sick aspect of society, that says there is a difference. Adults can leave or get help, whereas children are relying on YOU to show them WHAT LOVE MEANS, and provide them with protection, shelter, food, and comfort. Also, they are smaller than you and at your mercy. So yeah, I guess it IS completely different.

Lazy much?

There are so many other options out there. Do you actually WANT to hit your precious little child? This gift from the universe? If so, you ARE a bully and should not be allowed the privilege of having any. If not, do some research. There are studies, books, websites, doctors, books on CD, seminars, and videos. There is so much information out there. So much help, guidance, ideas, and knowledge. The world is round; if we all just blindly did what our parents did we would still be living in caves. It's just plain laziness, and it's ridiculous.

Out-of-control brats

It's MY children who are running around disturbing you???? It's PEOPLE LIKE ME who are raising undisciplined brats, and that is "the problem with kids today"??? Riiiiight. Let's get this straight; 90% of parents today admit to spanking their children. Of the ten percent who don't, an even smaller number of us are practicing gentle, respectful discipline which involves no actual punishment or rewards whatsoever. Yet child on child violence, depression, teen suicide, youth crime, delinquency, and mental health issues are at epidemic numbers in North America and that is just among children, not to mention members of my own generation and older. Factor in the entire population and we are looking at a very sick society with a lot of "discipline issues." But yeah, it's TOTALLY because of the unfortunately small number of us who woke up and realized that something is fundamentally broken and if we are going to fix it, we need to drastically change the way we are raising our kids. THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE.

Speaking from experience

I have 25 month old twins. They are sensitive, high-spirited, rambunctious, AMAZING little girls who have never been punished, yet can sit in a restaurant without tearing it apart or ruining anyone else's dinner.

Thank you.

Here is something beautiful to counteract the above:

The Prophet on Children

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

--Kahlil Gibran