I have had my moments.
I would say that sleep and nighttime parenting
have been my last frontier of gentle parenting.
It is my most challenging.
I was sleep trained as an older baby; it didn’t work.
I remember being awake in my room alone for hours as a small child; terrified of being alone, but also afraid to call out.
I still have nighttime anxiety and issues with sleep.
I stay up until I’m so tired I can’t stay awake,
so I don’t have to lie in the dark for long.
Having been through this, it confuses and frustrates me
that I have had such a hard time giving my children
what I needed so badly.
According to the anthropologist Alice Miller, it is no mystery at all,
but the guilt I live with is a huge weight regardless.
I know I can’t undo anything, but like everything else in life that
requires true and profound change, there was a point when
I just decided I would not allow my impatience to get the better of me.
With the exception of a few temporary lapses,
quickly followed by apologies and cuddles,
I am doing very well, and not surprisingly,
the girls sleep much better too…a side effect of this decision
is that I enjoy those middle of the night cuddles like
I used to in the early, newborn days.
The house is so quiet and it’s just me and my little girls,
keeping each other safe and warm in the dark.
For some great ideas to inspire calmer bedtime rituals, check out Zen Bedtime.
~How you treat the child, the child will treat the world~
This post was originally published on the blog Breastfeeding Basics.
